How to Write a Best Man’s Speech – Banishing Writer's Block

So, you’ve been bestowed with the honor (or is it a curse?) of being the best man. Congratulations! But now, as the big day looms, you find yourself staring at a blank page, cursing the cruel gods of public speaking. Fear not, my fellow wordless warrior. Here’s a foolproof guide to banishing writer’s block and delivering a best man’s speech that will have the crowd laughing, crying, and possibly questioning why the groom is friends with you.

Start with the Basics: The “Not-So-Terrible” Template

First things first: don’t reinvent the wheel. The best man’s speech has a tried-and-true formula that works like magic:

Introduce Yourself – Because not everyone knows you, and some might want to know who to blame if it all goes wrong.
Thank the Guests – A little gratitude goes a long way. Plus, it buys you some time to gather your thoughts.
Compliment the Bride – The golden rule: say something nice about the bride. If you’re at a loss, a simple “She looks stunning” will suffice.
Embarrassing Groom Stories – This is your moment. Share a story that’s funny but won’t result in your eviction from the wedding. Remember, you want laughs, not lawsuits.
Heartfelt Moment – Pretend to be serious for a second. Share a touching story or sentiment that makes everyone go “aww.”
Raise a Toast – End on a high note. Lift that glass and lead a toast to the happy couple. You’ve made it!

Spice It Up: Inject Humor and Personality

Now that you’ve got the skeleton of your speech, it’s time to add some meat. And by meat, I mean humor. Here’s how to sprinkle in some laughs:

Self-Deprecation is Key: Start by poking fun at yourself. If you’re a terrible public speaker, mention it. If you’re hungover from the bachelor party, definitely mention it.
Play on Stereotypes: Just remember, play it safe. Best man jokes about losing the rings or forgetting the speech are classics for a reason.
Groom Roasting 101: Think of a couple of funny anecdotes that show the groom’s “quirky” side. Just make sure they’re G-rated and mother-in-law approved.

Avoid the Clichés (Or Don’t)

Some clichés are classics for a reason, but others… not so much. Here are a few to consider:

“We’ve Been Friends for X Years”: Yes, yes, we get it. But how about flipping it on its head? “I’ve known [Groom] for 10 years, and he’s only been wrong three times.”
“To the Bride and Groom”: This toast is essential, but feel free to jazz it up a bit. Maybe something like, “Here’s to love, laughter, and a happily ever after that includes me crashing on your couch.”

Practice Makes Perfect (Or at Least, Passable)

Finally, don’t forget to practice. Out loud. In front of a mirror, your dog, or a patient friend. You don’t want the first time you say these words to be when you’re standing in front of 100 people, sweating like you’ve just run a marathon in a tux.

Last-Minute Nerves? Embrace the Chaos

Even if your speech goes off the rails, just roll with it. If you trip over your words, laugh it off. If you blank on the bride’s name, well… maybe don’t do that. But remember, the best man’s speech isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing love for your buddy and being part of their big day.